People always say

Happiness will find you

But I think sadness will find you too

It sneaks up on you just as you thought you made it through 

It opens holes in what you thought used to be solid ground

The type of holes you didn't realize were there 

Until you take a step into thin air

It caresses your hair

And then it's gone as if it were never there

It fills you to the very top and can't seem to stop 

Until there is nothing left to take 

But to make its own hidden maggots 

The tunnels of your mind and silence the kind that remain for you to find 

As you struggle 

And feel as if you are caught in a web that will hold a grasp until the day you die

You are stuck screaming on the inside but the 

Sticky cotton texture is drowning you

From the inside out

They tell you not to pout

But you lost all of your other faces 

You lost count of all the times that made you smile to the point where your cheeks hurt 

You lost count of all the times you laughed so hard 

Your stomach aches

All of it is now nonexistent 

You are distant

You feel the air swim through your lungs 

That are now locked up in bird cage of desperation 

Once again you are gone

But this time it's from both reality and the world

As heaven holds you it treats you like the golds from the Witwatersrand basin 

It puts you in a new mindset that feels almost impossible 

The sadness that filled you floods out into the watercolor blue oceans 

And the motions of the exotic fish and the screeching commotion fled with the blue birds 

Into symphonies that had once made you happy

So you swam with the whales and the gales of the seas 

That pushed you further 

Further 

Back to the shore where you can breathe again 

But you are happy.