Being
a fat girl means
That
I am given new names that I haven't asked for
Curvy,
thick, chunky, big
I
am supposed to take these words, these names for myself
Supposed
to swallow them like cough syrup
Thick
and bitter in my throat
I
am supposed to be grateful
Grateful
that skinny people have found another way to forget that we exist
Fat
is a word we want to forget
The
very word is cursed
Used
only for describing cattle and livestock
They
think us no better than pigs
Being
a fat girl means that I have to work for boys' attention
And
I have to work hard
Harder
than anybody
And
still
They
must be bigger than me
Boys
who don't care that my stomach can hold oceans
Because
theirs can too
The
don't care that my thighs are tree trunks
They
climb them with grace
Boys
who like me
Hate
themselves
The
have lower self esteem then me
I
find boys who know that difference between love and sex
Boys
who will settle
Being
a fat girl means overcompensating
Because
people will never like me once they see me
First
impressions fail me
People
only see protruding stomachs and laziness
My
eyes could be as blue as the sky
And
my skin as dark as olives
But
my body will never be enough
I
must be the smartest
The
funniest
Anything
but fat
Being
a fat girl means constantly being under fire
"I
totally like, hate those overly confident fat girls"
Who
else but us will be happy for fat girls?
Call
us cute?
Care
for us?
Love
us?
"Why
doesn't she just like herself?"
Because
we never are allowed to
Lastly,
being a fat girl means that I must find solace
In
fat arms
In
fat stomachs
In
fat faces of other fat girls
They
show me that we are worthwhile
That
fat girls matter
THE
END
|