I'm selling my relatives because of the negatives.
They are all healthy,
They'll help you be wealthy.
                                 
I'm selling my sister,
Because of her mister,
I'm selling my brother,
‘Cause he always runs to mother.

I'm selling the baby...
Well, maybe.

I'm selling my fish,
‘Cause he's always got a green dish.
I'm selling my bird
She bites, haven't you heard?

But I won't sell my dad
‘Cause he's totally rad.
And I won't sell my mom
‘Cause she's the bomb.

So come and don't delay,
They're on e-bay.
Do I hear any takers?
Come on, my sister here's a cookie baker.

See? They're all healthy and strong.
This price won't stay for long!
They're all very obedient,
Come on, I'm being pretty lenient. 

Lower the price you say!
This is not my day.
Okay, from one hundred to one
Going, going, Gone!
Glad that's done.